Sons inginuity lives on
by John Norberg, humor columnist s

Many years ago I ordered three cases of Girl Scout cookies. Not boxes. Cases!

The day after they arrived only one case was left. I had to face the fact I had a serous personal problem.

I hadn't ordered enough cookies!

My wife didn't even get one cookie. And in 12 hours I had eaten two cases. I felt terrible. Who wouldn't after eating that many cookies?

"Let's take the remaining case, put it in the freezer and save it," my wife said.

"How do I know you won't sneak some?" I asked.

"I'm your wife. You can trust me with your life."

My life, sure. But my Girl Scout cookies . . .?

We double wrapped the case in duct tape and put it in the freezer.

I went cold cookie.

Two months later I couldn't stand it any longer. I opened the freezer, pulled out the cookies still wrapped in duct tape. The box was weightless.

Our son had cut a hole in the bottom of the box, reached in and pulled out all the cookies.

I was stunned. A single thought raced through my head.

"Why didn't I think of this!"

It all came to mind this week when my wife and I ordered our favorite steaks at a restaurant. They were large. We had leftovers.

Waitress: "Can I bring a box for your steaks?"

Wife: "Bring two. If we put them in one, he'll eat both of them. We share a home, a bed and a checking account. But we need separate steak boxes."

When the waitress returned my wife put her steak inside her box and put her name on it.

"Are you going to wrap it in duct tape?" I asked.

Wife: "When we get home you normally eat your steak within an hour. Then you start nibbling on mine and by morning there's nothing left. But now, mine is in a box with my name on it and I can have it for dinner tomorrow. And don't sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to steal it."

Me: "You couldn't prove it if I did."

Wife: "Yes I can. I bought a Fridge Cam! It records every time the door is opened."

Technology is finally catching up on me.

But I'm not beaten.

Tonight, I'm going into the basement to bore up through the floor so I can cut a hole into the bottom of the refrigerator, reach in and pull out her steak!

And our kids think I have nothing to do with my time now that they're grown and gone!

Copyright © Federated Publications