New Generation Rules Techno World
by John Norberg, humor columnist s

I recently overheard this conversation between a mother and her young son.

Mother: "Sorry, we're going to have to unsubscribe from the cable movie channels. They have movies that aren't appropriate for children."

Boy: "I thought you were going to block those movies so I can't see them."

Mother: "I know. But, I can't figure out how to do it."

Boy: "I know how. I'll do it for you."

This sounded reasonable, until the mother realized if he can turn the block on, he can also turn it off.

She'd be the only one in the house unable to watch movies inappropriate for children.

Young people today are using technology to outsmart us. They are born with techno genes.

Among the most interesting technologies today is the cellular telephone. I often use my cell phone to call our 25-year-old daughter who lives out of state.

She has her cell phone programmed to use a special ring when I call so she know it's me without answering.

Here's what goes through her mind: "I have a lot to do. If I answer this, I'll be talking to dad for half an hour and I won't get anything done. He'll ask me questions like what am I doing, where am I going, did I brush my teeth. I'll call him back later when I have time. And patience."

"Later" means an hour after I've gone to sleep.

Daughter: "Dad, if you want to contact me, why don't you text message."

Me: "What?"

Daughter: "You use the keys on your cellular telephone to send a written message."

Of course! Using a telephone to talk is so 20 th century. Today, we use a telephone to write.

The other day our daughter text-messaged a question. Forty-five minutes later she sent another: "Aren't you going to answer?"

I called her.

Dad: "Don't rush me. It takes time to find the letters on this keypad."

Daughter: "What is your answer?"

Dad: "Yes."

Daughter: "It's taken you 45 minutes to type "yes?'"

Me: "Can't I just I just put a stamp on this and send it you through the mail?"

Daughter: "It might be faster."

You have to learn more than how to type on a telephone to text message. You also have to learn a new language, textlingo.

Daughter text messaging: "lol."

Me texting: "What?"

Daughter: "lol means laughing out loud. Idk means I don't know. Ttyl means talk to you later."


Daughter: "What?"

Me: "Please call and speak to me before I go crazy."

I think my techno genes are completely locked up.

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